Was really high this morning, all hyper about that van before going to church. Spoke to Swanny about it and 5 minutes later he was (well, God was) ripping my heart out about everything that hurts me. Its all to make me stronger apparently.
Anyway, same thing when I got home. Had just about recovered from that and then a phone call from Dad had me rock bottom again. I'd sent him a link to the van on ebay. Had I thought about this, and that, and can I afford the running costs, and in the present economic climate... and is now the right time and....
I almost gave up then.
But I don't want to turn into my father. I want to live my dreams. I want to trust God and live life to the full and try things.
I need to learn which father to ask permission, and discuss plans with.
'Cause maybe one day... just one dream might come true
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